What are you stressing over? How do you handle it? The problems that woke me at 3:30 A.M. haven’t changed even though I’ve tried to think them into a manageable order. The sun came up moments ago, slicing through the trees, reflecting gold off the wind-chimes hanging outside my screened patio. I have my second cup of coffee, and as I sit at my dinette gazing out at my back yard and watching the play of sunlight, I tell myself I can handle this…I have to.
I guess because I’m a writer, I’m one of that weird breed who thinks about thinking, and emotions, and the process of change, and how I’m going to make it through to the other side. And I pray and have faith that I will. But even still, I protest.
After all, everything is writing material. Every writer puts a bit of personal experience on the page.
Change. It’s at the heart of everything. And life is altered to some degree each and every day. Your hair grows longer and gets in your eyes, you break a fingernail, the strap breaks on your favorite shoes, you discover a nail in your tire, the stock market takes a hit, the dog eats a basketball size hole in the sofa you’ve had for just six months, your handicapped son goes missing at the movie theatre, the face of your iphone is cracked.
All stressful. But the worst by far are bigger issues like relocating, a new job, a baby on the way, your child leaving for college, divorce, a medical crisis, loved ones growing older, a terminal illness, the death of a loved one.
This morning, I’m reminded again that it’s the changes that I can foresee that give me the most grief. Fear and dread of the future is a horrible feeling. It’s a war between… yes it’s going to be okay, and, what if it’s not.
The bottom line is…I’m scared.
And like a lot of people, I normally wouldn’t tell anyone that.
And it’s taking extreme will power not to delete the previous two lines.
Because by sharing it, it makes me vulnerable. And that’s my epiphany this morning, writer friends…something you may want to use in your stories. What are the things that make us and our characters vulnerable?
It could be the uncertainty of whether a publisher will buy the next book, or not.
Or it could be that your step-father is dying and you’re worried that you don’t know how to help your mother through this.
It makes me realize that people with a toe’s grip on yesterday and everything that’s normal don’t want to hear “I’m sorry,” no, they want to hear “it will be all right.”
The fact is that as much as I don’t want this change coming my way, it will meet me, regardless. That’s the way of life. And so it is with my story characters.
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